bitterness, be gone

"What is it? My dear?"
"Ah, how can we bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"
"We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only the beginning - that we have all the time in the world."
"And every day we shall have less. And then none."
"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"
"No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."

-A. S. Byatt, Possession
(as quoted from The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger)

Whenever we were together, I always wanted to make the most of every millisecond. To constantly breathe him in, to make sure he knew I was there, just right there. Time was always too short for us. The moments between the arrival and departure hugs were always too few. Saying good night was almost always painful. Then there were the goodbyes. Sometimes, one or both of us would wonder if it was worth all the agony.

Was it?

Almost a year ago, we had a conversation that went like this:

"Reassure me that you don't have any regrets."
"What? Of course not!"
"Reassure me, please."
"(enter all our terms of endearment here), I have never ever regretted anything when it came to you. We've gone through some roadblocks and God knows what else, and we still are- with the distance and everything, but none of that matters, as long as I'm with you. And God forbid, if you're not there with me at the end, then the only thing I would regret is not making it with you. Okie?"
"Okie. :) "

If that conversation were to take place again now, the words would still be the same. It was tough, yeah. But was it worth it? Definitely.