SOS

I'm sitting here, at a loss. There are mountains of paper waiting for my attention and I'm just staring at them, not really understanding why they're there. The phone rings, I pick it up, and the words come out but I don't really hear them escape my lips. I answer questions fired at me, and I'm amazed that apparently, I'm still making sense.

When you've been living in a world where you were made to believe that you're different, you're precious, you're safe, nothing could hurt you and that world is so much more beautiful now that you've arrived, it's hard to fathom the idea that that world could actually cease to exist. Or worse, that you could get banished from that world to make room for someone else who is going to be all the things you were- different, precious, safe, a burst of color in what was otherwise a black and white universe.

It's been a while already. I shouldn't be getting hit like this anymore. I'm moving on, I'm smiling and laughing and I'm steady. I'm seeing the silver linings and basking in their light.

But here I am, about to hyperventilate. I'm getting clammy. The tachycardia's starting. I'm no longer safe, and my world is burning to the ground.

Somebody rescue me, please.